How Coaching, Inner Work, and Systems Change Intersect

The Part of Ourselves We Once Rejected

It may or may not surprise you that for a long time, I wasn’t connected to my own emotions. I felt numb inside for many years.

Over time, it became safe for the iceberg of my heart to melt, and I was relieved to feel ALL of the feelings again - the hard ones and the joyful ones alike. At least I was feeling, I told myself. I finally felt alive.

And yet, even then, I didn’t trust myself to hold deep emotion for others.

Working with people one-on-one terrified me. What if someone started talking about divorce, grief, heartbreak, or trauma? How would I possibly hold all of that humanness?

So for many years, I told myself: “I focus on groups. I focus on systems-level work.”

And while that is deeply true, I can now recognize that part of this was also self-protection.

Somewhere in the back of my mind was the belief:“If we keep it at the professional or organizational level, I won’t have to hold the messiness of personal lives.”

Maybe part of this came from having an incredible life coach for four years who helped me navigate my own life’s complexity. I knew how skilled she was, and I didn’t believe I had those capacities within myself.

But seven years later, after moving through many depths and heights of human emotion myself, I feel much more grounded in the full range of human experience.

It’s fascinating to reflect on the things we tell ourselves: “I’ll NEVER do that.”

What once terrified me now feels meaningful and exciting as a possible next evolution of my work in the world.

What Coaching Is Actually Teaching Me

Last month, I completed an 8-week Intro to Coaching training through the WithIn Collaborative. The other weekend, I also attended a 3-day workshop focused on transforming limiting beliefs through brain-body connection work.

One of my biggest insights so far is this:

A coach is not there to fix someone or provide answers.

A coach is actually a facilitator. Someone who asks thoughtful questions with compassion and curiosity, and helps create a safe enough space for another person to access their own clarity and wisdom.

What This Has To Do With Systems Change

The more I reflect on this, the more I realize that individual transformation and collective transformation are not separate things.

People make up systems. And people are systems themselves. (Think body systems, family systems, parts of self, etc.)And the ways we each relate to fear, trust, conflict, belonging, and possibility ripple outward into our organizations, communities, and movements.More grounded leaders create more grounded organizations.More self-aware humans create healthier communities.

Systems transformation doesn’t only happen in strategy sessions and coalition meetings, but also through the courageous inner work people are willing to do within themselves.

I’m increasingly curious about how coaching, facilitation, leadership development, and systems transformation intersect with one another.

It’s also been fun to notice how coaching is already naturally emerging in my life:

A request from a friend in exchange for dog-sitting.

A nonprofit asking me to help coach young adults around visioning and goal-setting.

Sometimes the wave finds us before we even realize we’re standing in the water.

Projects We're Supporting

Supporting nonprofit leaders and organizations in the San Luis Valley who are creating community-driven solutions to local challenges through place-based work supported by The Colorado Health Foundation.

Facilitating the transition and sunsetting of the ROAR Coalition in La Plata County, helping streamline regional collaboration among organizations including Team Up La Plata and the La Plata Suicide Prevention Collaborative to better support youth and families around substance use prevention and resilience.

Alongside Colleen Cooley, supporting the Climate Resilient Water Systems team at the Environmental Defense Fund in developing an Indigenous Engagement Framework to guide how they approach and foster Native partnerships.

Facilitating a board training and retreat with High Desert Devo to strengthen organizational governance and support the continued growth of youth mountain biking programs across Montezuma and Dolores Counties and with the Ute Mountain Ute Tribe.

Reflection & Community Wisdom

I’d love to invite you into this reflection with me:

• What is something you once told yourself you would NEVER do… that you’ve now done, or are considering?
  

• What qualities make someone a truly great coach?
  

• Are there coaching training programs you would recommend - especially holistic, trauma-informed, or equity-centered ones?
  

 👉🏻 Shared Reflection - The Unexpected Paths That Shape Us

Help fill in our shared Google Document on this topic! Let's pool our collective wisdom!

Thank you, as always, for reading and reflecting alongside me. In deep appreciation,

Sandhya + the Sagebrush Team

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